I Didn’t Have to Wait for Heaven

As I stood on the steps of the altar my legs were quivering and I had tears in my eyes.  No, I wasn’t scared or sad. I was overwhelmed that what I thought would only happen in Heaven was happening to me at that moment.

Back up 18 years or so…when I first heard David Kaufman’s music, it gripped my heart.   I may or may not have cried.   I loved that music! At the time I had this cool idea, and  whispered a silent prayer to God.  “Lord, when I get to Heaven, can I please stand next to David and sing with him?”  Yes, I actually said that prayer and have repeated it over the years.  My voice would never be good enough on earth, but in heaven?   I’m certain it will be enhanced a bit and possibly worthy of a duet!David Kaufman Choir 2

When I found out David and Bill Gokelman were coming to St. Martha, I was excited. When I found out they wanted a group to sing with them, I was beside myself with anticipation.  I’ve prayed with David’s quiet, reflective music for years – at church, through prayerful Good Fridays, during retreats and even a rough emotional move to Barcelona. NEVER did I imagine this grace – to sing with him on earth.

I didn’t have to wait for heaven. Heaven was here.David Kaufman and Peggy - Copy

Sometimes, the Lord just overwhelms. 

So here I am with David. I smiled like a goofball all night. I couldn’t help it!

In hope,                                                   Peggy

Curious?  Search David Kaufman on youtube

Purchase David’s music on iTunes and here.


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Precious Body and Blood

Could it be that Jesus’ love for me is so fantastic and large that he would agree to let me eat his own body and drink his own blood? Who am I, that he would love me so much, to want to be that close to me?

My Lovely Faith

And he took bread, and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” 20 And likewise the cup after supper, saying, “This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood.”   (Luke 22:19,20 RSV)

This Catholic teaching is a difficult one to grasp and to believe. In fact, it has always been questioned, from the very first moment Jesus’ words were uttered. Who wouldn’t argue that this is a very strange concept for the everyday mortal to grasp? Eating and drinking the flesh and blood of another person is hardly a great marketing tool to increase numbers to the faith.  But I don’t think Jesus was kidding when he said, “For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.”  (John 6:55…

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God Knows Our Heart

“My prayer group and pastor prayed over me and it should never have happened. It’s okay though because God forgives.”  She stated this with conviction.

As I looked at her lovely face I felt certain that she had misunderstood her pastor. I was working Monday at a ministry that helps women who are pregnant and in crisis. This young woman – I’ll call her Eve, wasn’t talking about something that happened in the past.  She was talking about the abortion she was currently seeking.  Eve emphatically believed that God would forgive her, even though she believed it was wrong to have an abortion and she planned to do it anyway.

As Eve continued to speak my heart kind of broke for her. There was something gravely missing in her interpretation of mercy and forgiveness. She showed no remorse and no sorrow for what she was about to do.   I’ve heard other people talk this way about their recklessness  or bad decisions.  To them I kindly say…mercy isn’t a free pass to do whatever we want. We can’t be abusive, do drugs, or drink in excess without hurting OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAourselves and others. We can’t lie, cheat, steal or kill and think we’ll be okay because “Hey, God forgives.”  Sins have consequences.  Eve could likely experience serious physical problems or emotional and spiritual pain and suffering as a consequence of her decision. It happens often.  Her family members are affected too. And most hurtful of all, when we willfully do what we know we shouldn’t do, our relationship with God is damaged. P1000507

BUT, we know that Jesus forgives. What is necessary and often misunderstood (or missing) is our thoughtful evaluation of our life before God, and the determination to be better and to do what God wants of us. Have we really considered the consequences of our actions? Are we sad, remorseful or sorrowful for the sin we know we committed?  “Contrition” is sorrow for our sin based on the love of God. When our “contrition” happens, we have hope for reconciliation with God.  How beautiful is that?

“Therefore submit to God; resist the devil and he will take flight. Draw close to God and he will draw close to you…Be humbled in the sight of the Lord and he will raise you on high.” [James 7,-8, 10 NAB, St. Joseph Ed.]

During this “Year of Mercy”  we are given a fantastic opportunity to learn about the immeasurable mercy of God.  I’m reading and studying, and I hope you are too.

In hope,                                                                                                                                                   Peggy


For more on Forgiveness and the Sacrament of Reconciliation:

Books by Pope Francis or  The Catechism of the Catholic Church,   CCC 1422-1498





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My Jesus Loves Me

Last September we welcomed a new little class of 3 year old sweethearts into our Mother’s Day Out program.  It was The First Day, and my co-teacher and I were ready.  We were excited. This year we had new ideas and plans.  As the 12 little children started to arrive,   I remembered…

The First Day is not fun.

Mommies, daddies, and various family members entered in a rush as their shy little cuties hung on to mom for dear life.  “Lovies” were clutched close and tears fell with goodbyes.  (And I’m not just talking about the children.)

The day was a whirlwind of play, stories, circle time, snack, more play, outside play, learning to line up, lunch, and finally….nap.  Exhausted at this point from the stress of  The First Day, our little cuties saw their familiar nap mat from home and practically threw themselves on it.

MDO CrucifixExcept for one little guy.  Down on his mat. Up from his mat.  He wandered the room until he found what he was looking for.  As I started to coax him back to his mat he looked up to me with his huge brown eyes and angel face.  He stuck his little fist up in the air to show me the little plastic crucifix from the prayer table and he announced, “My Jesus loves me.”   Be still my heart.  Life slowed down all around me as I looked at that precious child, who already knew what too many forget.

My Jesus loves me.

Precious child set the cross next to his mat and fell asleep looking at his Jesus.  He still does this.

Perhaps it’s time to follow the lead of a little child.

We have come to know and believe in the love God has for us.
God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.   – 1 John 4:16 (NAB)

In hope,                                                                                                                                                  Peggy



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Saying Goodbye, and Hello

My Lovely Faith

I was Al Angelino’s daughter-in-law for more than 30 years, but our relationship was respectful more than close. We never had long talks that I can remember. I knew his love through his attention to our children and his determination to be present during big life events.  My fond memory is of him laughing so hard that he cried.  My husband has that same laugh.

imageEarlier in December I wrote a letter to him. He was dying. He was constantly on my mind and I wanted him to know that I loved him.  Although we were far apart,  I felt connected to him.

He died December 19th, and he’s still constantly on my mind.  I find it completely normal to talk to him. Could it be that we will be more connected now than when he was alive?  This is the question that I sit with each day.

My father-in-law…

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Saying Goodbye, and Hello

I was Al Angelino’s daughter-in-law for more than 30 years, but our relationship was respectful more than close. We never had long talks that I can remember. I knew his love through his attention to our children and his determination to be present during big life events.  My fond memory is of him laughing so hard that he cried.  My husband has that same laugh.

imageEarlier in December I wrote a letter to him. He was dying. He was constantly on my mind and I wanted him to know that I loved him.  Although we were far apart,  I felt connected to him.

He died December 19th, and he’s still constantly on my mind.  I find it completely normal to talk to him. Could it be that we will be more connected now than when he was alive?  This is the question that I sit with each day.

My father-in-law was a very intelligent  man.  He earned an MSME and an MBA.  In 1964, he was one of the few civilians who qualified as the Engineering Officer of the Watch who was responsible for directing the control of the nuclear reactor in Navy nuclear vessels. His library is full of high level math and science books.


I’ve heard very smart people say that their scientific minds won’t allow for their belief in God, because He can’t be “proven.”  I’m here to tell you that Al Angelino had a great scientific mind,  and he believed!  He actively spoke of mercy and redemption as he led retreats and Bible studies for inmates at several prisons in upstate New York. If you asked him how his scientific mind could “believe,” he would assure you that  there was no discrepancy between science and belief. (In fact, I can imagine a little scoffing at the thought of someone using that argument as an excuse.)  Then he’d send you a book to help you in your search for the truth.

I am looking forward to this new relationship with my father-in-law.  Thanks, Dad, for your love and belief.

In hope,

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Enter the Chaos

My sister is a nurse. She’s worked in a hospital her entire career. She’s compassionate and merciful. As an RN Case Manager, Linda is often tasked with helping families decide where to place patients who can no longer live independently.  She walks along side of them as they make decisions and does her best to relieve their distress. When Linda’s mother-in-law was ill there were very few people available to help her carry the burden of decision-making, visiting, and supporting her.  Chaos became the routine.Lowering the lame man down through the roof 

“Mercy is to enter the chaos of another.”

Fr. James Keating, SJ, The Works of Mercy:The Heart of Catholicism

Pope Francis has designated a “Year of Mercy” to begin December 8, 2015. When I first heard this I thought of it as an educational initiative. Now I see it as a personal call that requires a response. That is because mercy acts.  It’s complicated and sometimes messy, time consuming and often hard. Walking with someone in their chaos, like my sister did, helps them to bear their burdens.   It’s the nitty-gritty, get your hands busy work that reflects Christ’s love and mercy in the world. It gives dignity to the one who is struggling. This is our call to be “church.”

“Mercy is to enter the chaos of another.”  Let’s pray together that when it’s our time to act, we will have the courage to “be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”  (Luke 6:36)

In hope,                                                                                                                                        Peggy

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Abortion, Forgiveness and The Year of Mercy

“Be merciful as your Father is merciful.”  (Luke 6:36)

Be merciful.  Mercy.  That’s a word we don’t use or experience every day, especially forgotten in our news, on Facebook, Twitter, and sometimes in our families. Imagine our world exploding with mercy! What difference would that make in your life?   We may have a chance to experience a world more focused on mercy, as Pope Francis has announced a “Year of Mercy” which will run from December 8, 2015 until November 20, 2016.  I, for one, am thrilled.

Yesterday in preparation for the Year of Mercy, Pope Francis released a letter outlining several of the ways we as a church can offer mercy. He addresses abortion specifically in this brief excerpt of the letter:

“I think in particular of all the women who have resorted to abortion. I am well aware of the pressure that has led them to this decision. I know that it is an existential and moral ordeal. I have met so many women who bear in their heart the scar of this agonizing and painful decision. What has happened is profoundly unjust; yet only understanding the truth of it can enable one not to lose hope. The forgiveness of God cannot be denied to one who has repented, especially when that person approaches the Sacrament of Confession with a sincere heart in order to obtain reconciliation with the Father. For this reason too, I have decided, notwithstanding anything to the contrary, to concede to all priests for the Jubilee Year the discretion to absolve of the sin of abortion those who have procured it and who, with contrite heart, seek forgiveness for it. May priests fulfill this great task by expressing words of genuine welcome combined with a reflection that explains the gravity of the sin committed, besides indicating a path of authentic conversion by which to obtain the true and generous forgiveness of the Father who renews all with his presence.”  – Pope Francis, Sept. 1, 2015

P1000126This is merciful news, right? But are you confused? Because if it weren’t for a recent conversation I had with Fr. David Angelino regarding the Sacrament of Reconciliation and abortion, I would be confused. Fr. Angelino says, “The news coverage leads one to believe that priests were not previously able to minister the Sacrament of Reconciliation to someone concerning abortion, but they can.   However, serious sins like abortion carry a penalty that can only be removed by the bishop or a priest delegated by him.  As far as I know, most if not all dioceses in the United States  grant this delegation to all of their priests in good standing.  Also, even if a case has to go to the bishop, the penitent doesn’t have to go.  It is taken care of in writing (without names) between the confessor (priest) and the appropriate authority.”  Someone seeking absolution for an abortion may definitely be absolved, but it’s a process, meant to bring healing and renewal as well as absolution.  In the eyes of the church, abortion is extremely serious, but the church’s desire is for all to be reconciled and strengthened with grace to not sin again.

So what did the letter say?  It seems that during the Year of Mercy, any priest has the authority to remove the penalty  for the sin of abortion without requiring the cause to be forwarded to the Bishop if the penitent is sorrowful. 

If you or someone you know have suffered from abortion, I say to you, “Come.” P1000111   Come to your priest. Come to Reconciliation.  I’m convinced that abortion is so very prevalent that too many have been touched by it.  Now is the time.  Don’t stay away.  Come.

Help for post-abortive women and men can be found at http://www.rachelsvineyard.org

In hope,                                                     Peggy

Special thanks to Fr. David Angelino for his consultation on this post and for the following links:

Related Post:   Show Mercy     http://wp.me/p3zUxG-b0

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Three Reasons Catholics Are Bible People


The Catholic Church is a  Bible Church. Does that sound weird to you? Okay, so it isn’t how we normally talk about the Catholic faith, and I wonder why not?  Here are just three reasons why I think this is true.

Reason # 3:  Bible Studies.  For years I attended a very well known non-denominational Bible study. I was intimidated at first with the women who could recite chapter and verse of key faith issues. But after a while I realized that most of them knew less than I thought, and what we learned, we learned together. What’s more, as the study progressed I became more confident in what I already knew, because I knew our faith stories and learned of our salvation history long ago through the Catholic Church . I’m grateful for my experience with that particular study, but the one I attended within my own parish community caused my knowledge and faith to grow too.  Catholic churches do offer studies and  I’m very grateful for  The Cornerstone Scripture Study. It is educational and also builds community within your local church. Visit http://www.thecornerstonescripturestudy.org.   The Little Rock Scripture Study is another option. https://www.littlerockscripture.org/P1020369

Reason #2:  Scripture is proclaimed at each and every Mass.  Passages from the Old Testament, Psalms, New Testament and Gospel are read and “broken open” for us in the homily. Maybe we take for granted what we hear so often, but really, what we have is priceless.   Scott Hahn is now an author and professor of theology and scripture, but when he was a Protestant minister  he experienced his first Mass. By his own admission, he believed that the Mass was the “ultimate sacrilege” and he attended as an observer only. In The Lamb’s Supper: The Mass as Heaven on Earth, Hahn describes his life changing experience.

“As the Mass moved on, however, something hit me. My Bible wasn’t just beside me. It was before me-in the words of the Mass! One line was from Isaiah, another from the Psalms, another from Paul. The experience was overwhelming. I wanted to stop everything and shout, “Hey, can I explain what’s happening from Scripture? This is great!” Still, I maintained my observer status. I remained on the sidelines until I heard the priest pronounce the words of consecration: “This is My body…This is the cup of my blood.”

“In less than a minute the phrase ‘Lamb of God’ had rung out four times. From long years of studying the Bible, I immediately knew where I was. I was in the Book of Revelation, where Jesus is called the Lamb no less than twenty-eight times.”

As a result of his knowledge of the Bible and his experience that day, Scott Hahn became a Catholic Theologian.  Can you imagine turning your life and career upside down like that? His story reminds me NOT to take our amazing Catholic faith for granted.

Reason # 1:  The Bible was inspired, written, compiled and defended in the earliest days of the church.  This was when the church was one body, before the Reformation and the divisions of Martin Luther, John Calvin, and the countless factions that separate us today.  This early church was the catholic, or universal, church. The Catholic Church of today is this same historic church and for the gift of the Bible it gave us I am ultimately grateful.

In hope,                                                                                                                                                           Peggy

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Do you Know How Much I Love You?

I’ve been sitting here trying to get a post written, but the thoughts that seemed obvious before I started make little sense now.  So I just thought… okay, what do you want me to write, Lord?

“Do you know how much I love you?”

That’s what I  heard when I asked what to write.   I don’t think He was talking just to me, so I’m passing those words on to you, and let’s just leave it at that for now.


I hope that in your hectic schedule you find the quiet to hear those words in your heart, too.

In hope,                                                                                                                                        Peggy

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